It's Tuesday already. I've been fasting since yesterday. So no food for me yet..that's great. I don't want anything in my mouth other then pills right now. I hate food...I hate what it's done to me. I can't stand myself, looking at myself.....it's torture :(. For some stupid reason I told my fiance that I won't be eating until I"m not fat anymore. So now I'm sure he'll be watching me. The only good thing is he'll be leaving next week and will be gone for almost a month. I mean it'll give me some alone time to do whatever I want, but I'm sad too....I'll miss him crazy! Life is just not fair! But I will do whatever it takes!
- Mood:awake
yes, it's friday finally. That makes me happy. I don't have to work all weekend. Finally get to sleep in tomorrow, maybe even take a nap tonight :) I love naps. If I sleep - I don't think of food or anything sad.
I ended up eating more then I wanted yesterday. Only wanted to stick around 200 calories and under. Ended up having about 400-450. It wasn't bad food, but still. So I took pills and now feeling like crap. Oh well...i promised myself not to purge anymore. So at least I'm doing that ....ugh
So far today no food. Just having water and gum. Will not eat until saturday night. I have a family dinner on saturday, so will have to have something. But I'll just stick with a salad or small fish and tell everyone that I'm not feeling well and can't eat lots. So whatever. I don't care! Blah
oooo....wanna be home now!
I ended up eating more then I wanted yesterday. Only wanted to stick around 200 calories and under. Ended up having about 400-450. It wasn't bad food, but still. So I took pills and now feeling like crap. Oh well...i promised myself not to purge anymore. So at least I'm doing that ....ugh
So far today no food. Just having water and gum. Will not eat until saturday night. I have a family dinner on saturday, so will have to have something. But I'll just stick with a salad or small fish and tell everyone that I'm not feeling well and can't eat lots. So whatever. I don't care! Blah
oooo....wanna be home now!
- Location:work
- Mood:
frustrated
If anyone wants to chat you should add me.
redflames_passion@hotmail.com
redflames_passion@hotmail.com
